


Vulnerability

by judgehangman



Category: Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1267141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judgehangman/pseuds/judgehangman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William hides himself in his lie, because it's safer, because he can't be touched if he's impassive, because he can convince himself that it won't hurt if Dantalion loves him only for Solomon's soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulnerability

Dantalion's skin feels warm beneath his fingers as William traces random patterns over his chest. His eyes are closed, soft breaths coming through his slightly parted lips as William watches him. He knows he's being sentimental again, letting his gaze linger a little too long on the expression on the demon's face, but his heart beats painfully, overwhelmed with something he can't name. He lets Dantalion intertwine their fingers and looks at their hands with a frown. He's starting to overthink it, starting to panic about what it means for him, for them, to have his heart beating so loudly and so quickly.

He shakes his head, to clear his thoughts. His doubt doesn't go away, though, and he can't help but wonder if Dantalion can feel his confusion. It's starting to become a little bit too much and he thinks his head will start spinning if he doesn't close his eyes. But he doesn't want to, not when Dantalion looks so happy, and part of him knows he hasn't had that same expression on his face since his days with Solomon.

William sighs, letting his head fall on Dantalion's chest, shutting his eyes close. Maybe if he focuses enough, the memories will go away and he won't have to face the fact that maybe Solomon is the reason for the demon's peace. They don't, though, he has to lay there, unable to contain the words and images that flood his mind, things he has lived but not really; he isn't Solomon, he was never Solomon, regardless of what the others say. Solomon didn't love Dantalion, he was only using him as a replacement for the emptiness Lucifer's departure had left in his heart, so why was it fair that Dantalion loved him so much?

He let out a quivering breath. The memories were coming to him more frequently nowadays and he could feel himself losing control of his own mind for a few moments.

"...liam! William!"

He doesn't reply, barely aware of his demon's call.

"William?" Dantalion tries again and this time, ignoring the headache, William lets his eyes open. He isn't aware of the distressed expression on his face, isn't aware of the pained sounds he made while trying to suppress the memories, isn't aware of how tight his grip on Dantalion's wrist is. Finally, the memory fades and William takes in a deep breath. "Hello again."

He stays quiet, turning away from the demon, who frowns. Dantalion doesn't have to ask to know William has remembered a moment of Solomon's life, and he only hopes it isn't something horrible like Solomon's death. After a while, he places his arms around William's body, pressing a soft kiss to the boy's neck.

"I love you", he says and William's expression shifts into one of serenity that remains there for a brief moment before the realist reminds himself that love is a weakness. William hides himself in his lie, because it's safer, because he can't be touched if he's impassive, because he can convince himself that it won't hurt if Dantalion loves him only for Solomon's soul.

"I know", he murmurs back, and it sounds like an apology. The demon snorts, a small smile playing on his lips before he presses a kiss to the boy's hair. William hates that smile, hates the knowing look on those red eyes, hates the unconditional love he isn't sure if it's directed to him. But, above all, he hates knowing that he's wrong; not even he is immune to trivialities such as love.

William knows one day he'll have to face the consequences of his acts. He knows, as his fingers trace the marks on the demon's wrist, until they rest delicately over his pulse point, that he has fallen deeper than he would allow himself to. And that will be the moment that breaks him.

However, he thinks, as he looks at their intertwined fingers, until that day arrives, he will allow himself that brief moment of vulnerability.


End file.
